A place to vent

Number Twenty Nine wrote:I have one kid who's the active fit jock and the other that's a lazy bookwormy type.

I guess I'm just doing a 1/2 assed job according to the resident Dr. Phil.  

My brother is an engineer and is extremely fit. Being a bookworm has nothing to do with being physically lazy and fact is being fat is just as bad as smoking as it's a drain on the health care system and taxes. Leads to depression and other mental issues which is also a drain on society and the tax system.

Nothing to do with being Dr Phil or anything of the sort. Kids (and I mean children) being over weight is unacceptable and totally on the parents. Around 16 or 17 yah, teens can decide to either get fit or keep being fat but by the a lot of the time it's too late.

It's not hard to move for an hour a day (even less) and it's even easier not to stuff your face chips on a daily basis.

wprager wrote:

NEELY wrote:You don't need all the garbage protein and whey products, you need a healthy diet and consistent exercise.  Find a hill, run up that 10 times hard.  Every time you get to the top do 20 pushups, every time you get to the bottom do 20 sit ups.  If the hill is too easy find a rock and run up with that.

You don't need a bench press (although it helps), you don't need a tredmil, you don't need a personal trainer.  You need discipline and that's it.  After that let the kid have a treat, let him eat some chips, w/e.  You work hard you should be rewarded like anything else.

Only thing people should 100% always stay away from is pop.

Discipline is the key word there.  He has very little and it's not something easily learned.  Don't have pop all the time, when we do, limit then to 1 a day, and it's either diet crap (yea, yeah, I know) or stuff low in sugar like ginger ale.  Treates (sweets, at least) are actually best *before* you exercise.  

Pop is just soooo bad for you... it's unreal.

Sugary treats aren't too bad because you can burn off the sugar pretty easily but yah, just not at night.

Number Twenty Nine wrote:The other, a history teacher.

Call children's aid now!

Yup, because me providing what is pretty close to common sense means I am trying to be a shrink. Me saying an 8 year old being fat is on the parents is somehow ignorant or I am misinformed?

NEELY wrote:

Number Twenty Nine wrote:The other, a history teacher.

Call children's aid now!

Yup, because me providing what is pretty close to common sense means I am trying to be a shrink.  Me saying an 8 year old being fat is on the parents is somehow ignorant or I am misinformed?  

Pretty much, yeah. But all or most of us with kids now were just as misinformed back when we didn't have kids. Books won't help you raise your kids. I'm not saying they are useless and don't bother reading, just don't expect there to be any answers or solutions that will necessarily help. And there definitely isn't any one-size-fits-all solution for any problems (and you *will* have problems).

Armed with the best intentions as you will probably be, you are forgetting that the kid has your genes, so as stubborn as you think you can be, the kids is often able to match you; and all they do is sleep, eat, play, so they have infinitely more patience and stamina to get what they want. Remember that scene in A River Runs Through It where "Viper" (Tom Skerritt) insists that Brad Pitt eat the supper on the table, and he cannot leave the table until he has finished eating? His son (Pitt) was in his twenties, and the father was still trying to rule with that iron fist, and the now-adult kid was still fighting him back -- ended up sitting at the table the whole night, didn't eat the food. So the father's been trying to bend the son to his will for over two decades and had not yet succeeded. I know, it's just a movie, but it's the truth.

You could get lucky and have very docile kids; but later on in life, who reallyw ants that? They may end up being someone else's doormat. And mine might end up out of work because they disrespect authority. Or they may all end up as CEOs because they always question, always push the boundaries, never quit. Who knows, really.

Having an autistic child I'm sure glad not everyone judges parents without context. I'm sure there are plenty of people that look at my daughter having a tantrum and think "What a terrible parent" but I'm also sure there are many others who sympathize.

I'm pretty sure NEELY isn't saying you can control something like that.

Ev wrote:I'm pretty sure NEELY isn't saying you can control something like that.

NEELY often speaks black-and-white about grey-area subjects.

Almost positive I said something short of health or mental health problems there is no excuse for being fat and there really isn't. Unless it's something debilitating then why would a person, especially a child be overweight?

And I am not talking from ignorance either, childhood obesity is a huge issue and kids are getting fatter and fatter. A perfectly healthy child (whether he reads books or not) shouldn't be fat. People make up excuses for their kids being fat simply because they are failing the child and can't admit it.

SeawaySensFan wrote:

wprager wrote:

tim1_2 wrote:All I eat is sausage gravy.

Did someone say...sausage gravy?

No.  No-one said it.  No-one *ever* says it.

No one ever says what? Sausage gravy?

Did someone say...sausage gravy?



Part of a complete breakfast.

Ev wrote:I'm pretty sure NEELY isn't saying you can control something like that.

Being judgemental is being judgemental.

Ok, I won't judge. I want to hear a list of reasons or even just one good reason why a perfectly healthy 8 year old kid could be fat that isn't the parents fault.

Genes do play a part though. Like my entire dad's side is big.

But that doesn't mean you have to be obese. You can be large and still built, which a lot of them are.

I got the huskiness from my dad's side but the short stature and Dung hair of my mom's side. Diddle.

NEELY wrote:Ok, I won't judge.  I want to hear a list of reasons or even just one good reason why a perfectly healthy 8 year old kid could be fat that isn't the parents fault.

I'm convinced that the primary reason is because parents are never home because they pretty much spend their time working and commuting. You really can't blame them for that. I'm sure there's a list beyond that and certainly neglect would be part of it but it would be near the bottom.

Ev wrote:Genes do play a part though. Like my entire dad's side is big.

But that doesn't mean you have to be obese. You can be large and still built, which a lot of them are.

I got the huskiness from my dad's side but the short stature and Dung hair of my mom's side. Diddle.

That's the thing, obese is what I am talking about. Not everyone is the same, people are built differently with different genetics. Hell, I'll never have a 6 pack and I've tried for years, it won't happen and likely never will. And again you're right there is a way to be in shape and healthy while being on the heavier side of things.

SeawaySensFan wrote:

NEELY wrote:Ok, I won't judge.  I want to hear a list of reasons or even just one good reason why a perfectly healthy 8 year old kid could be fat that isn't the parents fault.

I'm convinced that the primary reason is because parents are never home because they pretty much spend their time working and commuting. You really can't blame them for that. I'm sure there's a list beyond that and certainly neglect would be part of it but it would be near the bottom.

There are after school sports at school (free), there are other programs where kids can go after school to get a little exercise. Fact is too many parents depend on the TV and the PS to raise their kids and keep them out of trouble when they are not at home. I get parents are not home all the time and the cost of living has hit the point where both parties need to be working but fact remains my parents were in the same boat and same with the fiances. Somehow they found a way to get it done and my family was very poor for a very long time so that's not an excuse either.

For those "bookworms" maybe throw some sort of health and well being book in there between Steven Hawking "The Nature and Space of Time" and some George Orwell "1984". Kid is obviously smart if he can read that so I am sure he/she will pick up on the importance of health.

Only reason I know of that Hawking book is because my brother (who is a jack show) reads that for fun somehow when I can barely read the title.

NEELY wrote:
There are after school sports at school (free), there are other programs where kids can go after school to get a little exercise. Fact is too many parents depend on the TV and the PS to raise their kids and keep them out of trouble when they are not at home.

If a kid needs to get the school bus home, then they can't stay after for anything. But yeah, there's generally other ways for a kid to get exercise. It is certainly tougher being a parent these days than 20 years ago, though.