Tickle my funnybone. NOW!

wprager wrote:Front Bum.

The filter strikes again and ruins a joke...

Last one for now, I promise

One of the wireless carriers could change that up a bit and make it into an ad.

fawk lol!

Tuk Tuk wrote:

Lol.

I really should take the time to convince my wife to watch The Dark Knight. Ledger's death/suicide/whatever hasn't helped.

Apple claims new iPhone only visible to most loyal customers.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/apple_claims_new_iphone_only

After entering the Pearly Gates, St Peter welcomed Farrah and told her
she could have one wish granted for her long suffering. Without
hesitation she wished that all the children in the world would be safe!


Back on earth at that very moment Michael Jackson dropped dead.

Then, when Michael approached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter asked him
what he wanted. Michael said he needed someone to make a pitch for him
to God.


Poor Billy Mays never knew what hit him...

This is one of my ALL TIME FAVOURITE jokes from many many years ago...

A Texas business man, while in Japan for some business meetings and a few rounds of golf, arrived in Tokyo a day earlier than expected. Feeling lonely that evening, he employed the services of a beautiful young Japanese girl to be his companion for the evening. Although the Japanese girl spoke very little English and the businessman spoke no Japanese, their passion roared and in the heat of the moment she began yelling "Gama Su!, Gama Su!". Hearing this, the Texan knew he had pleased his female Japanese friend and soon afterwards went to sleep.

The next day while playing golf with his Japanese business colleagues, one of his Japanese partners holed his shot from 170 yards away! Everyone went crazy and began yelling excitedly in Japanese. Wanting to impress his friends, the Texan joined in and began yelling, "Gama Su! Gama Su!"

Suddenly everyone became quiet. After a moment of silence, one of the Japanese turned to him and asked "Wrong Hole? What do you mean Wrong Hole?"

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Another one of my ALL TIME FAVOURITE jokes of all time... no offense intended by this... these are from way back in the day...

Three guys, a Newfie, a Quebecer and an Albertan are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.

"I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes total", says the Genie. The Newfie says, "I am a fisherman, my Dad's a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity."

With a blink of the Genie's eye, ,FOOM' the oceans were teaming with fish.

The Quebecer was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Quebec, so that nothing will get in for all eternity." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, ,POOF' there was a huge wall around Quebec.

The Albertan asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out." The Albertan says, "Fill it up with water."

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

HA HA!

We call those "Jewellry moves".

A caddy pulls up to a gas station in the middle of nowhere. "Gomer" runs up to the driver's side to ask the driver what's his pleasure.

He notices some golf tees on the dashboard and asks what they are. The driver replies, "Well, son, I use this to rest the balls on when driving."

Gomer walks back and mutters to himself, "Those Caddy people, they think of everything."