Here's what Leafs chronicler, the sardonic and often ironic Howard Berger, had to say, in suitably sardonic--can we say sarcastic?--fashion:
FANTASYLAND LOSES ANOTHER
Howard Berger, Fan590.com, July 4, 2009
TORONTO (July 4) – How dare Rick Nash turn his back on the Mighty Blue & White!
Talk about an ungrateful ingrate. After all the Maple Leafs and the city of Toronto have done for this guy, he snubs his home town and signs an eight-year contract extension with the Ohio State Blue Jackets. Having formed his entire team-building strategy around landing Nash as a free agent next summer, where now does Brian Burke turn for a savior?
After exhaustive research, yours truly obtained a transcript of the negotiations between Nash’s agent, Joe Resnick, and Blue Jackets’ general manager Scott Howson:
Resnick: “Scott, my client wants eight years and $62.5 million to stay away from the Maple Leafs.”
Nash: “I’m going to Toronto.”
Howson: “Jeez, Joe, that’s a long time and an awful lot of money…”
Resnick: “C’mon, stop farting around, Scott, I’ve got Burkie waiting on the other line and we’re ready to commit to the Leafs for next summer.”
Nash: “I’m going to Toronto.”
Howson: “Damn! I know that every free agent in this league is dying to play for the Leafs, particularly now that Doug MacLean lives in the Big Smoke. But, how do I explain your contract demands to my owner?”
Nash (Daydreaming): “Kensington Market… Ontario Place… Nathan Philips Square… The Bridle Path…”
Resnick: “Listen to my client mumbling, Scott. Better hurry up. Rick wants to ensure there is space for him on that Toronto juggernaut. Burkie’s waiting… I’m telling you, he’s waiting.”
Howson: “You S.O.B., Joe. How can you pressure me like this in my second year on the job?!”
Nash (singing): “The Maple Leaf, Our Emblem Dear, The Maple Leaf Forever. God Save our Queen And Heaven Bless, The Maple Leaf Forever.”
Resnick: “You hear the song, don’t you Scott? I’m warning you, the lure of that perennial powerhouse is overcoming my client. He can’t take much more of this. What’s your bloody decision? We have to know… NOW!”
Nash (practically shouting): “Oh, this is too exciting. Just think… a Brampton boy like me alongside John Mitchell, Jamal Mayers, Nikolai Kulemin, Anton Stralman, Colton Orr, Justin Pogge! Legends, I tell you, legends! C’mon Joe, let’s forget this Columbus mess.”
Howson (tortured): “No, no, wait. I can’t afford to lose your client, Joe. He’ll put the Leafs right over the top. But, the money… and all those years…”
Nash (daydreaming again): Brian and Ronnie… Ronnie and Brian… Brian and Ronnie… Ronnie and…”
Resnick: “Scotty????”
Howson: “Okay… fine! You got the money, you got the term. We’re keeping you right here, Rick… away from your beloved Blue & White.”
Nash (wiping his sweaty brow): “Oh, thank you Scott. The mere inkling of having to play for that Godforsaken loser! Tell Burkie to go away.”
So, Heaven’s team in the NHL loses another. Only three short years after Joe Thornton, Jarome Iginla and Vincent Lecavalier reluctantly thumbed their noses at the Blue & White. Oh, you remember that scenario, don’t you? It was right after the lockout. John Ferguson used the petty-cash carton at Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment to sign free agents Eric Lindros, Jason Allison and Alexander Khavanov.
“Excellent decision… very prudent,” exclaimed Leafs Nation, along with a columnist at Canada’s national newspaper who should have known better. “Save money now and blow the bank on the dazzling crop of eligibles next year. That’s how you build a team.”
It was hardly a shock, of course, when Andrew Raycroft, Hal Gill and Pavel Kubina became Ferguson’s prize acquisitions the following summer… months after Thornton, Iginla and Lecavalier had been locked up by their respective teams.
But, lessons don't come easy in a deprived hockey market.
Next up for the Leafs Nation? Why, Ilya Kovalchuk, of course.
E-mail howard.berger@rci.rogers.com
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