If I was the speech writer for the Sens...

They don't have this position open but I would apply...

Eugene here is your speech...

"So you all know me as a fun loving guy. A millionaire, no a billionaire!!! You've been to my ranch, enjoyed my hospitality. You saw me laugh it up at the World Juniors. I have been pretty fun, Christ I even had the Eagles come and play for free. Well, there is a Yin to that Yang you bunch of spoiled p()ssies.

You play like a team waiting for a trade... You play like you aren't having fun... You play like you are disinterested... Do you f()cking jokers think I got to be an f'ing billionaire by accepting mediocrity or giving my money away?...Stop giggling Spezza... you little p!ss-ant or I'll shove my expensive shoe in your a$$. I am not kidding.

There are no moves coming. I am not paying yet another coach not to coach this hockey club. I am not sending salary to the minors so that we can acquire yet another player whose career you can poison. You morons better figure it out and quick. I am paying you goofs $55M for this crap. Stop giggling Spezza I swear to God... * throws shoe *

I will give you a hint, I don't pay you to have fun. I pay you to win and pay you handsomely. If the offence 'ain't working' then go out and hit someone. At least make the teams we play against know they played hockey. You dorks pitch more no-hitters than Nolan Ryan. Put you hand down Volchenkov, that was a baseball reference. It means these other b!tches don't hit anyone, you are okay.

Now I spoke to Hartsburg and Murray. I told them that if you don't work during a game, you are bag skating the next day, every last one of you. I don't give a flying sh!t. And if that doesn't work you will come to my ranch and shovel sh!t out of the horse stalls. Then I will send you up the road to Ocala prison where white meat is a delicacy. They won't listen to you whine..'I don't feel like playing. they'll tell you you're playing like it or not. Who do you want to be the mommy or the daddy?' Then you will wish that you were back playing hockey. Now smarten up you bunch of hairy-backed Mary's, or else!!!" * slams door *

This made my day. Thank-you.

lmfao. That was freakin' hilarious.

hahahahaha, jk of the day.

Can somebody forward that to him? Or Bryan?
Somebody should actually use that - it'd be a shame for it to go to waste. It's brilliant.

That was strangley cathartic :D

Acrobat wrote:Can somebody forward that to him? Or Bryan?
Somebody should actually use that - it'd be a shame for it to go to waste. It's brilliant.

Yes, it is, but unfortunately the guys in the room would probably think it was funny.