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I haven't written on this topic for a while but, with the recent news of Brian Murray fighting a battle with cancer it has brought a lot of this flooding back.
My wife's psychologist once told us that this was the new normal. Man I long for the days of the old normal. Blissfully enjoying life with my beautiful highschool sweet heart. I'm not a big believer in horoscopes but, as an aquarius I'm supposed to be known for thinking far into the future and imagining what life will be like. In my old normal version I imagined a long life, sitting in rocking chairs side by side with my wife with grey hair, watching our grand kids run and play. I didn't imagine how we'd get there and never did I think it would involve my wife fighting for her life and both of us taking turns fearing the worst and hoping and feeling confident for the best.
I get people often asking how we do it. How do we get through the day and that we're an inspiration. It is what it is and what is the alternative? The new normal is what you make it. You can't dwell on the situation you're in. In our case we have small children and it's not fair to them that they're in this situation and it's not fair to them to give them anything less than all of ourselves. They didn't ask to be born and they deserve fully present and fully loving parents. Our job, in the old normal, was to simply love them, show them how to love and treat others, how to survive and flourish in this world and hope that our lessons were the right ones and that they take them to heart.
Our new normal means we now teach them how to handle yourself during times of great adversity. They won't know any other way. They will likely always know their mom as living with Cancer and hopefully not dying from it but rather, one day, dying with it. Showing them how to handle yourself, how to treat your partner, how to care for them. How well we do will help shape them and help shape the decisions they make in life.
Our new normal is their old normal and we have to make it as wonderful as our old normal.
My wife's psychologist once told us that this was the new normal. Man I long for the days of the old normal. Blissfully enjoying life with my beautiful highschool sweet heart. I'm not a big believer in horoscopes but, as an aquarius I'm supposed to be known for thinking far into the future and imagining what life will be like. In my old normal version I imagined a long life, sitting in rocking chairs side by side with my wife with grey hair, watching our grand kids run and play. I didn't imagine how we'd get there and never did I think it would involve my wife fighting for her life and both of us taking turns fearing the worst and hoping and feeling confident for the best.
I get people often asking how we do it. How do we get through the day and that we're an inspiration. It is what it is and what is the alternative? The new normal is what you make it. You can't dwell on the situation you're in. In our case we have small children and it's not fair to them that they're in this situation and it's not fair to them to give them anything less than all of ourselves. They didn't ask to be born and they deserve fully present and fully loving parents. Our job, in the old normal, was to simply love them, show them how to love and treat others, how to survive and flourish in this world and hope that our lessons were the right ones and that they take them to heart.
Our new normal means we now teach them how to handle yourself during times of great adversity. They won't know any other way. They will likely always know their mom as living with Cancer and hopefully not dying from it but rather, one day, dying with it. Showing them how to handle yourself, how to treat your partner, how to care for them. How well we do will help shape them and help shape the decisions they make in life.
Our new normal is their old normal and we have to make it as wonderful as our old normal.
